Overcoming love grief: It sounds so banal and straightforward, and yet there is hardly anything that seems more impossible once the heart is broken(acute heart pain).
The pain that causes love grief is soul pain – of the worst kind. There is little consolation that it catches us almost once and that everyone will overcome his love grief one beautiful day. In the acute state of shock, the self-confidence sinks into the cellar. The ex-partner is idealized, erroneous longing, and loneliness spread.
Until time has healed all wounds – and promised: this will be it! – Broken hearts need an immediate contingency plan. To all those who are suffering badly: Here are ten tips for how to get rid of acute heart pain!
1. Howling, Whining, Self-pity ( Acute Heart Pain)
When the separation pain is fresh, neither sophisticated processing strategies nor heroic attempts to frame the whole thing like a lady help. In the first few days – or even weeks when the shock is profound – it is perfectly okay to give in to grief and pain unrestrainedly.
Let your feelings out: howling, screaming, sobbing, consuming a pack of handkerchiefs, listening to romantic music, and continuing to yell. Self-pity and weeded days in bed are expressly allowed! It is essential at this stage to accept the pain, the disappointment, and the anger.
Here the old rule applies: Only those who have mourned extensively can process the separation correctly.
2. Talking helps
Under no circumstances should you try to identify the grief with you alone for a long time. Talk about what you feel: about the injury, the sadness, the anger at your ex-partner. Call your best friend and whine her ears full.
You have the official permission to bathe in self-pity and to harass your surroundings with the same subject – yes, even if the whole thing has already been chewed through three times with the same conclusion.
Your friends will have a lot of good advice in stock. Almost everyone knows how hard it is to overcome love grief. It can help to see things from a different perspective and to hear the friends have come through the Valley of Tears.
But it is clear that, of course, it is ultimately only your condition that matters. How you deal with the situation, you alone determine. So always follow your rhythm!
3. Recognizing His Macks – Acute Heart Pain
It has never been as apparent to you as in phases of the worst love grief: your ex was the most beautiful and smart specimen of man on God’s earth. No one will ever give him the water. Moment! This guy broke your heart! This alone does not predestine him to enter into your life story as the greatest love.
And let’s be honest: How many times in the past have you been annoyed by his stubbornness, his ignorance, his post-pubertal seizures, his cold remarks. Yes, just.
Beware of idealizing your ex-partner. Be aware of its negative sides! Write a list of everything that has bothered you about him and the relationship. You will see that once you are more objective in your judgment, the pain becomes less bit by bit.
4. Austen – Acute Heart Pain
Take care that the cause of your heartache disappears as far as possible from your attention field! Even if it hurts at first: Separate yourself from everything that reminds you of him and the time together until further notice.
Memorabilia such as photos or letters, his old T-shirt and toothbrush wander straight into a large cardboard box, and from now on, they live in the attic or the basement.
5. Time To Get The Most Out Of It: Sport
An excellent way to stop the mental loop for some time, let out the anger and disappointment and react really: Sport! Sport, no matter which one, is ideal for getting your head free and producing some happiness hormones again. Exercise helps against depressive moods and the agonizingly dull permanent pain.
Go dancing, to yoga, a few rounds of swimming. If you feel like you have to let off steam, you can also handle kickboxing or weights. The main thing is that you come up with other thoughts!
6. Pampering Yourself
It is a crucial step: everything that is good for you is now at the top of the priority list. Stroll through the new fashion collections, work your way through the latest make-up colors, fall in love with a fresh fragrance that fits perfectly with your rediscovered self.
An appointment with the beautician, a new hairstyle, sauna, and massage – the mission is: Pamper yourself! Caresses for body and soul are precise what best helps you cope with the grief now.
By the way: Such a new outfit can be a balm for the ego – and you can now urgently use an extra dose of self-confidence. Feel beautiful and desirable! The blind guy who broke your heart is a fucking fool.
7. No Stalking!
Yes, it’s seductive, we know that. But just don’t come up with the idea of spying on your lost after the separation! Not for moral reasons, but above all, to do yourself a favor. Any attempt to make contact tears open old wounds and make your pain bigger rather than smaller.
So: It’s best to delete all his numbers from your phone (yes: all!), cancel the Facebook friendship, change the regular pub. Anything that keeps you at a distance from him helps you gradually to detach yourself from this man and free you for a new phase of life.
8. New Rituals
There are so many things that fall by the wayside during a relationship: meeting old friends, learning a new language, the regular Pilates course, a whole Sunday in bed, the extensive and wonderfully unreasonable shopping marathon. You should make up for all this now!
Now there is no excuse – and that is incredibly good! Look for new hobbies, introduce new rituals that have always lacked time in the past: Go brunch with your girlfriends on Sundays, organize cooking evenings together, finally read all the books and watch all the movies you’ve postponed for so long!
Whatever is good for you is now the right thing to do.
And who knows? Maybe you will get to know the one man in one of your numerous hobbies, for whom you can also make a few leisure compromises.
9. Flirting – How To Get Rid Of Acute Heart Pain
You don’t mind leaving the house and throwing yourself into the party hustle and bustle. Do yourself a favor: Do it anyway! Accept, if possible, any invitation that flutters into your house. Go among people! First, it’s good to be with people who make you feel like you’re not alone in the world and enjoy life as a single person.
Second, it polishes your self-confidence to test your market value – and find that there are a lot of men who appreciate your qualities more than Mr. Heartbreak.
Oh yes: To fish a ‘transitional man’ who is not suitable for great love, but is a beautiful ego-flatterer, is, of course, not an excellent way. But as the saying goes: in war and love. Well, you know.
10. Up And Down: Book A Short Trip
Each of us has these places that we have always wanted to travel to. It doesn’t have to be the Caribbean – how about an impromptu city trip to Paris, Lisbon, Stockholm? As a single, you are free to do what you always want. You can pack your seven things and go – without lazy compromises, without wrong consideration, according to your rhythm.
Of course, you can also take your best friend with you if you are afraid to be alone in the stranger with your grief.
It is, of course, a question of type whether a trip alone helps you or makes you even more unhappy. But to cut it off from everyday life and the familiar environment is often extraordinarily healing and helps to see things more distantly.
You will be amazed at how well you do a few day’s distance and new impressions.